Many people believe that you cannot feel happy in life unless you are part of a couple, simply because of the way our society is set up – we are a couples’ society. You are often given the message that in order to be worthy, in order to feel satisfied or ‘complete’, you must be involved with someone. You see it in the commercials, in the movies, in the magazines and even hear it in songs.

Though being part of a partnership has its rewards, relationship alone is not the solution to your happiness and sense of self-worth. It is not a magic wand. A relationship can enhance your life – enhance not create. But, in order to really feel good with someone, you must first feel good within yourself. In order to be intimate with someone, you must first be intimate with yourself. It is very difficult to be truly loving someone else when you do not feel that way about yourself. By being in connection to yourself and learning to accept yourself, you will be better able to offer the same to someone else. How do you expect to give what you don’t have? How do you expect to be loved by someone when you don’t love yourself?

A major contributor of relationship issues is simply the fact that most people are not mentally prepared for a relationship. What I mean by this is simple, if you are not happy alone, you will not be happy in a relationship. And when I say happy I don’t mean, happy to be single so that you can go out and date a bunch of people. What I mean is to be happy enough to stay home on a Friday night to watch TV by yourself; happy enough to take yourself out to a movie or maybe an expensive dinner; happy enough to enjoy your own company and have a great time.

It is understandable that you may feel lonely and disconnected when you are on your own, but you must really master the art of being alone and happy before you will be able to be in a happy relationship. The best way you can jump start this realisation would be to find a life purpose or passion. Many singles are waiting for a relationship to infuse their life with passion and purpose, not realising that having a loving partner is not a substitute for a meaningful life. 

You must find a purpose for waking up in the morning; have a vision of your place in the world and what contributions you want to make. Be powered by your passion, by taking action. Your life’s purpose will energise you and you will reach your happiest state as you pursue this goal. You must figure out what lights your fire, floats your boat, tickles your pickle, you must find that activity and harness it. Go with it, whether it be playing sports, travelling, helping others or something as obscure as making money. Find it and go with it. Deep down within us, everyone has some ideas as to what make us happy. Search for it and start taking steps towards leading a more fulfilling single life.